Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Half the Fun (Those last 5 minutes)


There are some days that you know you're just having the best day ever and that you will never experience a day like that again. And it's those rare golden days that you really learn to live in the moment. Lucky me, I was able to experience that last Saturday.

Districts. My senior year districts. The most important race of my high school cross-country career. The most important race because it was my chance to achieve the most important goal I have ever set out for myself in running. It was my chance to qualify for regionals. I have been dreaming of regionals since I was a freshmen. It only became a realistic goal last year. I clearly remember when I decided that regionals was my goal. I was at Subway with my coach, and my two co-captains Shannon and Swope. We were having a meeting over the upcoming year, our senior season. I remember my coach stating how it was going to take a lot of work, but if we really tried, we could achieve it. I sat there with my eyes gazing to that odd green border on the wall as I confessed my hopes and fears to the three of them. I think it was at that moment that I realized I was willing to give it my all to qualify to regionals. And from that moment on I did. I went to every single winter conditioning practice. Fell flat on my butt twice in an icy parking lot trying to train. Threw hundreds of questions at my coach. Cried the first day of track practice because I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Cried in the woods at GMCs when I did about twenty seconds slower than my PR. Felt one of the happiest moments in my life when my coach told me how proud he was of me at the Mason meet. I went through typical high school drama, and experienced all the ups and downs that could be included in a season. And through all of it I still had one goal in mind: regionals.

So there I was at the starting line on Saturday, realizing this might be the last cross-country race I'll ever run. That I could really bomb it today and all my hard work would be a waste. I sat there stretching, and all of a sudden that throbbing feeling in my throat, that sickening feeling in my stomach decided to let loose, and those steady streams of salty saline began sliding down my face. Thank goodness for Lauren being there to pray for me. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Those last few moments before you have a chance to prove yourself. When four years comes down to four minutes. It's just a whirl of emotions. A whirl of emotions that reminds you just how bad you want it. More than you could ever realize.

I remember running with my coach earliar last week, asking him what he missed the most about high school running. He told me that I would learn to realize that I would miss most those 5 minutes before race time. At the time I didn't understand it. Why would I miss those 5 minutes? Why not the actual race? Or the last 5 minutes? Or anything else? I didn't get it. But I didn't ask, because I realized it was something I needed to learn on my own. And now I realize what that is. You miss those last five minutes because it's those last five minutes that remind you just how bad you want what you are setting out for. At least for me it is.

I'll get straight to the point: I qualified. Held fourth place throughout most of the race, but sadly got out kicked in the last 200 yards. What can I say? They all know I can't sprint. But I qualified, and so did my team. And it's afterwards that you realize that you left everything on the course. I realized that I went out there and ran the best race of my life, and despite my nervous breakdown right before, I just had the time of my life. It's a bittersweet feeling knowing that what you've look forward to is over, but you accomplished what you set out for.

Now I'm down to one week. One week of practice left. One race left. And then it is officially over. Although regionals has always been my goal, and I'm thrilled for the opportunity to run in Troy this weekend, my dream is over, my goal has been accomplished. I've realized that the best thing about achieving a goal is not when you've actually achieved it, but the road to getting there. Achieving a goal lasts for a little while, but the journey to achieving it is much longer. And it only makes it even sweeter. I guess it's just like they say, getting there is half the fun.

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