Say

“Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead

If you could only

Say what you need to say”

I am so in love with this song. Perhaps it’s just the writer in me dying to get out. Or maybe it’s because I’ve always been that shy girl who hesitates to talk because of some silly insecurities. Or maybe it’s that little optimist activist in me that just honestly believes with all her heart that you can change someone’s life based on what you say to them. Maybe it’s that little voice in me that just wants to say what it needs to say. I think it’s a little bit of all of the above.
How many times have I wished I had said something while I had the chance and then later regretted it? The perfect example of this are my two grandfathers. What’s ironic is when my second grandpa died, I saw him the day before his death, and I was able to tell him I loved him before I left. But when my first grandpa died, I didn’t get that chance to talk to him, and to this day I still cry over his death. It’s been almost a year now. And it’s killing me because I didn’t get to say what I needed to say.

If you haven’t seen the music video for “Say” by John Mayer, I urge you to watch it now. It’s based off of the movie Bucket List…yes, even just the music video makes me cry. And I think it’s because the song touches on something that we often overlook until, of course, it’s too late. Just the simple fact that we should say what we need to say to people before it’s too late. Before they’re gone and out of our lives. Or because they deserve to hear the truth. I think we often hesitate so many times on saying what we really want to say, because we’re afraid. Afraid of someone’s reactions, afraid of what they might think. Trust me, I know…remember, I was that shy geeky girl back in elementary school too afraid to speak up. I guess now I’m making up for lost time haha.

But on a serious note, I can remember the last conversation I had with my first grandfather. I remember he had called my house to speak with my mom. I answered the phone and said something along the lines of “Hi Grandpa, it’s Laura…yada yada yada.” And then he asked for my Mom and I said, “Hold on…let me get her.” So I went and gave the phone to my Mother and that was it. Those were the last words I spoke to my Grandpa. “Hold on…let me get her.” Not “I love you Grandpa,” or “I miss you,” or even, “I hope you feel better.” I never got to say what I needed to say. And my regret will haunt me for the rest of my life.

But the beautiful thing about life is when we make a mistake, we learn from it and learn not to make it again. I can’t hate myself for not saying what I needed to say. I had no idea at the time that that would be the last time I would speak with Grandpa. But I learned something I had never understood before. I realized how things don’t last forever, and that the opportunity to say what you really need to say, doesn’t last forever either.

This song is a constant reminder to me to not take time for granted. It’s more than just “say what you need to say,” it’s a reminder that life is precious, and you won’t have it forever. And even more importantly, how precious the people around you are, and how you won’t have them forever either.

“Have no fear for giving inHave no fear for giving over

You better know that in the end its better to say too much

Than to never to say what you need to say again”

It’s better to say too much, than to never say what you need to say again. So if I sound like a babbling idiot for the moment, it’s because my heart is hanging onto these words. I refuse to let what happened between my grandfather and I occur again. As geeky as this may sound, I have a “Say” list. A list of people in my life in which I still have something to say to them. I won’t lie…there are a few people on this list that I am absolutely terrified to tell them what I’m really feeling. But when I think of it in the big picture, a little humiliation for the moment will save me from a lifetime of regret.

I encourage anyone who reads this to at least take what I’m saying into consideration. Think about your life, and the people in it. Think of what would happen if you never saw them again, would you have said everything you needed to say? I feel like a broken record, but it’s as simple as the lyrics…

“Say what you need to say”.